Info

Book an ADHD Assessment

Free ADHD test

ADHD or Just Personality? Five Adult ADHD Myths — Debunked

Apr 24, 2025

Olga Karolyi

Psychologist & Behaviour Analyst

How We Talk About ADHD

You hear this everywhere at the moment: ‘I have ADHD’, and there are countless videos about how people with ADHD live a ‘normal’ life. But why has this topic become so popular? Is ADHD really that widespread now? Why are we seeing ADHD content everywhere?

If you were born this way, you may not realise that others function differently. Until someone tells you that people experience the world in another way, you assume your experience is ‘normal’. And then comes the shock:

‘Wait… do other people really not think like this? ‘
‘Do others really not find these tasks so difficult? ‘

Let’s add a bit of structure to those questions. First, the terminology — because it clears up a lot of confusion.

There are neurotypical people, whose brains work in ways society tends to call ‘normal ‘. And there are neurodivergent people — for example, those with ADHD or on the autism spectrum condition (ASC) — whose brains differ from the average.

Important: don’t call people who do not have ADHD ‘normal ‘. Use neurotypical instead. People with ADHD are neurodivergent. This isn’t only a medical difference; it’s social too: society’s attitude plays a big part in how someone with ADHD can thrive. Precise language also helps ensure no one feels labelled or stigmatised.

With the basics in place, let’s look at the most common myths about ADHD.

Myth #1: ‘Everyone has ADHD these days’

Reality: No.

Many people are sceptical when they hear that more and more people are being diagnosed with ADHD. But that’s not what’s happening. The truth is: ADHD itself hasn’t become more common — more people are simply recognising that the condition exists.

It’s true that many people now say they have ADHD, and many also blame ADHD for things like:

restlessness,
difficulties with reading,
problems with concentration,
procrastination.

Some claim today’s lifestyle (caffeine, fast-paced videos, too little sleep) creates a ‘dopamine-deficient state’ — it revs you up and then leaves you flat; after lots of short, intense hits there’s a dip — and this can disrupt focus and the balance of the brain’s reward pathways. But on its own this does not cause, and does not equal, ADHD.

So, you don’t necessarily have ADHD if you enjoy fast-paced content, love energy-boosting foods and drinks, or identify as a night-owl chronotype. ADHD is not a ‘problem of the modern world’. If someone only appears inattentive in boring meetings, that still isn’t ADHD. Symptoms need to show up across multiple areas — work, home life, social relationships. ADHD is a particular way the nervous system works, and it is an internationally recognised neurodevelopmental condition (DSM-5; ICD-11).

If you’re an adult who wants to understand yourself and get appropriate support, there’s a validated ADHD self-assessment that can help you spot your signs: Free ADHD Simple (not a diagnosis; quick self-screen) → https://adhdsimple.co.nz/quiz-landing. In short: if several statements feel familiar or you score highly, it’s worth speaking to your GP. That moment of recognition is often the first step towards a formal diagnosis and the right support.

Myth #2: ‘ADHD is just laziness or poor self-discipline’

Reality: No.

People often accuse people with ADHD of using the diagnosis as an excuse. The truth is that ADHD is not the result of ‘bad parenting’, and many have struggled with neurological differences since childhood. And no matter how hard someone tries to compensate, it’s exhausting. You see others do certain things with ease and wonder why they don’t come as easily to you.

They sit down to read a book — and simply read it.
They listen to a lecture — and remember it.
They can keep focus, while you catch yourself lost in completely different thoughts.

The world is often more structured than the way a brain with ADHD works — and that clash is constant. If you’ve tried a hundred planners and task apps and none has stuck, that isn’t your fault. Some people say, ‘So what? You can’t focus on one thing for long? It happens to everyone.’ But if your whole life feels chaotic — you forget too many things, you lack the energy for a lot of it — that’s different.

People with ADHD often struggle to estimate time (how long a task will take), start something, then switch to something else, and only hours later remember they were meant to be doing something else. Procrastination is common; getting going can be hard. Because of this, many people label people with ADHD as lazy. You may hear:

‘Okay, you’re easily distracted. So what? Just get on with it.’
‘If someone can do their job, why should this even matter?’

Why does it matter?

Because ADHD isn’t just ‘a bit of inattention’.

It’s a different way the brain works, which can:

affect self-confidence,
make time management harder,
affect relationships and stress management.

This can lead to career problems, lower income, or even unemployment. And there’s the constant sense of shame — ‘there’s something wrong with me’.

If you recognise yourself and suspect you might have ADHD, a first step is our validated self-screen: Free ADHD Simple (not a diagnosis; quick self-screen) → https://adhdsimple.co.nz/quiz-landing. If the suspicion is there, the right support and tools can make everyday life much more manageable — and it’s worth speaking to your GP about a specialist, NICE-aligned assessment.

Myth #3: ‘ADHD only occurs in children and disappears in adulthood’

Reality: No.

You may still hear sceptical comments about ADHD. Many people think it’s only a childhood condition — that you ‘grow out of it’ and that it doesn’t exist in adults. You still hear lines like: ‘But they’re in a senior role — how could they have ADHD?’ or ‘They finished university — so they can’t have ADHD!’

Research shows that many people with ADHD reach adulthood undiagnosed, and as many as 90% continue to experience ADHD symptoms. Any apparent reduction in symptoms is often explained by the ways adults adapt to their condition before they know their diagnosis — for example, learning time-management techniques, building structure into daily life, or intuitively developing behavioural strategies.

Many people find they can’t think clearly while sitting still; once a train of thought starts, they feel the need to stand up and pace. That’s a typical ADHD feature — it isn’t about ‘not trying hard enough to pay attention’. Surprisingly, background noise can help some people with ADHD to concentrate. This kind of low-level or ‘passive’ stimulation — quiet background music, familiar films or series, or listening to podcasts while working — isn’t a distraction but can be a supportive tool.

People with ADHD also often use repetitive, self-soothing movements called stimming (e.g. twisting a ring, clicking a pen, doodling during a dull lecture). There are also less socially acceptable forms, such as nail-biting, skin-picking, hair-pulling, or chewing/tearing objects.

So yes, people adapt — but that doesn’t make it easy. And being successful does not mean someone doesn’t have ADHD. ADHD is recognised as a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition. Clear, well-sourced information can shorten your route to the right support. While self-screens and checklists are not diagnostic tools, they can help you reflect on your experiences and find the right professional.

Try the free self-assessment: Free ADHD Simple (not a diagnosis; quick self-screen) → https://adhdsimple.co.nz/quiz-landing. If several statements feel familiar, speak to your GP, who can refer you to a specialist if needed and discuss next steps.

Myth #4: ‘ADHD only affects little boys and adult men’

Reality: No.

Many people still believe ADHD is something that happens to little boys and, later, adult men. The story goes that as they grow up, they either ‘work it off’ in sport or drift into gambling — as if the ADHD somehow gets ‘handled’.

Women and girls are barely mentioned. For a long time, the assumption was that women either don’t have ADHD at all, or only in a very mild form. In reality, the female ADHD phenotype can look quite different, so many go unnoticed.

A boy who runs around and shouts is referred to a specialist more quickly.
A girl who daydreams, drifts off and struggles to concentrate? ‘She’s just quiet, a bit slow.’

What’s more, a girl is often expected to show more overt behavioural problems than a boy before ADHD is considered. When symptoms present mainly as internal restlessness (e.g. anxiety, daydreaming, seeming ‘slow’), they’re often not recognised as ADHD.

Typical reactions include:

‘She’s just a bit scatterbrained, that’s all.’

‘She probably just reads a lot.’

‘She’s a bit away with the fairies.’

This is why many women remain undiagnosed. Women in particular often mask their ADHD, because there’s stronger social pressure to appear ‘organised’ and ‘put together’. ADHD in girls and women is therefore frequently labelled as anxiety or depression, and the search stops there: ‘She’s depressed, that’s why she can’t concentrate.’ Anxiety can indeed make attention worse — but ADHD doesn’t work like that. A neurotypical person’s focus mainly drops at the peak of anxiety and returns when calm. With ADHD, distractibility is present even when calm. And a woman with ADHD may look composed on the outside, having learnt to curb outward impulsivity, while inside her thoughts are racing. Over time, that inner strain can lead to mental health difficulties or burnout.

If you’re considering ADHD as an adult, it’s worth:

Checking whether these patterns have been present since childhood, rather than appearing only recently.
Taking a self-screen.
Seeking a specialist assessment.

The right diagnosis can:

help you accept yourself.
lift the weight of stigma and shame.

If these patterns feel familiar, it isn’t ‘oversensitivity’ — your female ADHD profile may have stayed hidden (masking, internal restlessness). First step: try the free self-assessment at adhdsimple.co.nz (not a diagnosis; quick self-screen): Free ADHD Simple (not a diagnosis; quick self-screen) → https://adhdsimple.co.nz/quiz-landing. Then speak to your GP; the next step is a NICE-aligned specialist assessment, where you can discuss tailored options.

Myth #5: ‘You can’t “cure” ADHD.’

Reality: Yes/No.

ADHD is highly heritable — around 80% — which means it tends to run in families more than many other psychiatric conditions. So, you cannot eliminate it completely. What can you do if you have ADHD? Manage it.

In psychiatry, very few conditions can be identified unambiguously with a blood test or an MRI scan. Most diagnoses are made on symptoms — the person’s reported difficulties, the impact on quality of life, and the persistence of the pattern (DSM-5; ICD-11). It’s common for parents to realise they are also affected only after their child receives an ADHD diagnosis.

Does a brain with ADHD ‘work differently’?
It depends on what we mean by ‘work’. Every brain is unique in some respects. But research indicates recognisable biochemical features in ADHD. Studies suggest that regulation of the neurotransmitters dopamine (reward / the ‘is this worth it?’ signal) and noradrenaline (alertness / readiness) differs. That in turn influences how attractive a task feels, how easily you can prioritise between tasks, and how long you can stay with a process — for example, reading a dull but necessary text from start to finish without breaks.

ADHD isn’t just a bad habit or a touch of inattention you can ‘reprogramme’ with willpower, so classic one-size-fits-all therapies rarely work on their own for ADHD. If someone has significant symptoms, medication can make a major difference. There are safe, licensed medicines (treatment decisions are made with a specialist), and some are licensed for use in children. Certain medicines have a cumulative effect — it can take a few weeks to reach full benefit. Others act quickly, so some people take them mainly on workdays, or during exam periods. Important: medication should always be prescribed and monitored by a specialist.

Some people do well not on medication, using the right strategies and lifestyle changes: creating a minimalist work environment (fewer visual and digital distractions), using bring-back techniques (e.g. a ‘genius notebook’ — a simple capture list for stray thoughts to handle later), and keeping structured daily routines.

The key point:
For some people ADHD feels like a strength; for others, more like an obstacle.
Both experiences are valid.

ADHD is real — it isn’t a fad, and it isn’t a ‘character flaw’. It isn’t about being scatterbrained now and then; what matters is the pattern and its impact: how persistent it is, how many areas of life it shows up in, and how much it makes daily life harder. It exists in adults, and in women it often presents more subtly (masking, internal restlessness), so it’s frequently recognised later. While it isn’t ‘curable’, there is a toolkit that works: practical everyday strategies, therapy and — where appropriate — medication. The aim isn’t perfection; it’s a full, successful life with how you’re wired.

We unpack key topics in our other resources, so take a look. In the meantime, if this resonates, try the Free ADHD Simple (not a diagnosis; quick self-screen) → https://adhdsimple.co.nz/quiz-landing. If several statements feel familiar, it’s worth speaking to your GP; the next step is a NICE-aligned specialist assessment, where you can discuss tailored options.

Last updated October 2025
Written by Olga Karolyi

Important: This article is for information only. Diagnosis and treatment are determined and overseen by a qualified clinician. If you feel affected, contact your GP.

Key UK guidance

National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (2018, last reviewed 2025). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Diagnosis and management (NG87). https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87
National Health Service. (2025). ADHD in adults. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/adhd-adults/
Royal College of Psychiatrists in Scotland. (2022). ADHD in adults: Good practice guidance (CR235). https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/docs/default-source/improving-care/better-mh-policy/college-reports/cr235-adhd-in-adults---good-practice-guidance.pdf

Further reading

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). American Psychiatric Association.
Balogh, L., Pulay, A. J., & Réthelyi, J. M. (2022). Genetics in the ADHD clinic: How can genetic testing support the current clinical practice? Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 751041. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.751041
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). ADHD across the lifetime: Adults. https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/articles/adhd-across-the-lifetime.html
Cortese, S., Adamo, N., Del Giovane, C., et al. (2018). Comparative efficacy and tolerability of medications for ADHD in children, adolescents, and adults: A systematic review and network meta-analysis. The Lancet Psychiatry, 5(9), 727–738. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(18)30269-4
Faraone, S. V., & Larsson, H. (2019). Genetics of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Molecular Psychiatry, 24(4), 562–575. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-018-0070-0
National Institute of Mental Health. (2021). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in adults: What you need to know [PDF].
Popit, S., Serod, K., Locatelli, I., & Stuhec, M. (2024). Prevalence of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): Systematic review and meta-analysis. European Psychiatry, 67(1), e68. https://doi.org/10.1192/j.eurpsy.2024.1786
Sibley, M. H., Arnold, L. E., Swanson, J. M., et al. (2022). Variable patterns of remission from ADHD in the Multimodal Treatment Study of ADHD. American Journal of Psychiatry, 179(2), 142–151. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2021.21010032
World Health Organization. (2024). Clinical descriptions and diagnostic requirements for ICD-11 mental, behavioural and neurodevelopmental disorders. https://www.who.int/publications/b/68103
Young, S., Asherson, P., Lloyd, T., et al. (2020). Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach. BMC Psychiatry, 20, 404. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9

Next Article >